Normally you only get one flare-up a year, at the most. After I was diagnosed, I was scared of rejection and stopped dating entirely for a few months. But I knew that the longer I put it off, the scarier it would be. We went on a couple of dates but I didn't know when to bring it up. After our second date she asked me to come inside after I'd walked her home and kissed her goodbye, but I refused.
I'd been drinking and I was far too afraid to talk about it then. The next day, I called a support line in a panic, and their advice was to tell her before we went on another date.
I called and invited her round the same evening. That whole day, I thought about nothing else and felt sick when the time finally came. I told her as we sat on my couch, looking at the ground the whole time. When I looked up she just laughed at me for being so worried, and kissed me. The reason being that if I'm dating someone and think we might have sex at some point, I will tell them that I have HSV But I only want to go through that with someone I really like, who I know I can trust.
No one has ever seemed to be put off by the HSV However, it has meant I've been less likely to date friends-of-friends for fear of everyone finding out. I even dated one woman who told me she also got a coldsore 'downstairs' and was so glad I brought it up because she was scared to. In terms of managing the condition, I take antiviral medication twice a day to control the symptoms. My immune system was so weak that I was getting sores every two weeks. The drug is a preventative but most people only use it when they have an outbreak to calm everything down a bit.
That herpes is not some kind of life sentence.
The girl who escaped Islamic State group and is fighting back with boxing. Marie Kondo v book hoarders: The meme battle is raging. How to keep your New Year's resolutions, according to the experts. I followed old-fashioned dating advice in real life. How do I find those people? If it matters, I am a lates straight white male who likes a degree of intellectual connection in his hookups and is also somewhat kinky. All suggestions are welcome. Insights gleaned through personal experience would be especially welcome. If you prefer not to speak publicly, either use the Contact Form ask to the mods to post your answer for you or email me at hsv.
Thank you very much. If I knew that the person was on prophylactic valacyclovir to reduce a asymptomatic viral shedding, and that and safer sex practices were going to be used, that would go a long way toward making me feel comfortable with the minimal risk. Well, first, you should go back on the antivirals. If nothing else it will help demonstrate to future partners that you're concerned about preventing transmission. Exactly what the previous two posters have said.
I was in a monogamous two-year relationship with a guy who had herpes. I didn't, and haven't. One of the big things that made me okay with his STD status was that he was very proactive about minimizing the risk of transmission. That included taking Valtrex valacyclovir.
I know there are forums for people with herpes and other STDS-s who want to date, but I'm not personally familiar with any.
But in a more general sense, I think you want to disclose your status up front AND you want to get back on anti-virals. In that sense, I wonder if online dating may work well for you, in part because you are kinky. Generally, as you probably well know, there are some folks who will be okay with dating and sexing if you are safe, and there are other folks who will run screaming because they don't know any better.
The more proactive -- and vocal -- you are about not spreading the HSV-1, the more likely it is that people will want to have sex with you. Maybe more among the sexually active dating pool. In fact, the last time I was STD tested, I had to press Planned Parenthood to do HSV-1 at all which is the only reason I know I have a neg status , and getting it done required insistence almost to the point of "look, I know the stats!
I've had a paper published in the Journal of Virology , for christ's sake!
About two years ago I was diagnosed with genital HSV If I were in the dating pool, especially having casual hookups, I'd be pretty much. Dating with Herpes & How to Overcome the Fear of Disclosure There's this guy I really like and I am nervous to have sex with him because I.
I still want to know my HSV-1 status! I'm saying it's not good that you're being proactively informing it is!
But you may find it's less of a deal for other informed, responsible people than you think. Yes, they are the same thing, but the location of the virus i.
I had a big primary infection that was pretty unpleasant, got it tested, and learned to my dismay that it was indeed herpes. US workers are playing Kanye's hits to help them deal with the government shutdown. This thread is closed to new comments. If it matters, I am a lates straight white male who likes a degree of intellectual connection in his hookups and is also somewhat kinky. Studies have shown that the majority of HSV-1 genital cases are occurring in those with no prior history of HSV of either type.
In other words, having genital HSV-1 involves different concerns and precautions re: I was surprised to learn that genital HSV-1 in a pregnant woman can be more dangerous to a developing fetus than HSV The following information might also be useful to the OP: A prior infection with HSV-1 orally greatly lowers the risk of contracting type 1 genitally.
Studies have shown that the majority of HSV-1 genital cases are occurring in those with no prior history of HSV of either type. In the absence of prior oral infection, HSV-1 can be spread to the genital area, usually through the practice of oral sex.
In some countries, genital HSV-1 accounts for more than half of their entire genital herpes cases. In the absence of prior oral infection, however, HSV-1 spreads easily to the genital area, usually through oral sex. Point taken on the different rates of transmission, Salamander although as you note, the oral-to-genital rate isn't exactly low. Since the OP is asking for ways to identify people for whom this is less of a big deal, I guess I should note that for me, this would be less of a big deal because I've been on an antiviral before woo, childhood shingles! A friend of mine in a similar situation reports good results from positivesingles.
Just a point of reassurance.